If you're on Pinterest, chances are you've seen this quote (or one with a very similar message).
And it's also likely that you believe that it's inherently, universally true.
And let me tell you something: it's not.
For the vast majority of people on this earth, every single day they can choose to be happy. It's simply a decision they can make (though many choose not to). It's a decision they need to be conscious of, and work for, but any moment of the day they can flip the happy switch.
I firmly believe that.
But for some people, it's not so easy all of the time.
Sometimes, despite our hardest efforts, that sadness just lingers. We can feel gratitude for our blessings, we're not dwelling in self pity, but we are literally incapable of dispelling that darkness.
There's a simple explanation for this: chemicals. The chemicals in our simply brain won't let us make that choice.
Most of the time, I can and do choose to be happy. Sometimes, I still can choose but have a hard time getting myself to. And other times, no matter my best efforts, I can't help but feel on the edge of tears, feel the sting of hopeless, feel mired in this sadness. Rationally, I know things are fine. But my emotions aren't getting the memo.
So many people tell me that it's a choice. They just don't understand. They don't know about the confusion of thought and emotion that can come with a chemical imbalance. I'm not angry. I used to be the same way.
This isn't a rant. I just want anyone who reads this to know: for some of us it's not always a choice.
(Note: this post is not triggered by recent conversations/interactions with anyone in my life. It's just something on my mind today. It was triggered in part by the many quotes I see on Pinterest. The post is mostly about catharsis for me, and education for others. So I hope I don't offend anyone.)
3 comments:
After seeing my mom and sisters battle depression for many years, I can attest you are 100% correct. You are also much more patient than me because I always get rattled when I people act like it's some self-imposed sadness you can just smile your way through. You are such a strong, amazing person. Thanks for posting this. :)
Good reminder. I know how you feel. Some days things are just messed up and I can rationally think things through but still be miserable no matter what I try to convince myself to do. Post-partum depression has definitely been an eye-opening experience.
I have you to thank for helping me understand this! There was a book you read called 'An Unquiet Mind' (I think). I saw it on goodreads and checked it out--it was amazing. That was the first time I understood that things aren't always under our control. So thank you for that!
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