Friday, May 31, 2013

Seven Months Old




At seven months old, Lincoln:
-Is getting cuter every day. It just needs to be said
-Weighs just over 19 pounds. No wonder my arms are so buff!
-Has been crawling since he was 6.5 months old. Which means my life has been even crazier since he was 6.5 months old
-Has FOUR teeth
-Likes biting things. I'm so glad I'm no longer breastfeeding
-Is pulling himself up
-Is into everything, and I mean everything
-Still loves to scream, but babbles regularly now too
-Loves to "play" the piano. In fact, during piano time if I start to play, he gets mad
-Loves swinging on his own--I can't believe he's big enough to!
-Has dropped his third nap and his nap schedule is getting more consistent--yay!
-Loves play peek-a-boo
-Has sliced his finger sticking it into the air vent
-Speaking of air vents, all of the things he shouldn't have are, of course, his favorites, like air vents, sockets, cords, the dvd player, my phone, plastic bags, paper, the dogs' water bowl
-When he sees something he wants, he hauls ace getting to it. This kid can move!

Life is good. Lincoln's still not a great sleeper, but I think we're finally getting through the 3-5 hours-a-stretch nights. That lasted for 2 months and was rough. I don't have a whole lot to say this month except I'm so grateful to be Lincoln's mom and be a mom in general. It's incredible. I'm also so grateful to stay at home. It's more wonderful than I thought it would be and, goodness, it's hard work. I work way harder keeping Lincoln alive and the house in livable condition than I did at any of my jobs. It's exhausting and I'm still sleep deprived (no sleep training yet), but I love it. I flat out, full on, head over heels love it. 
And I love that little kid.


Silver Linings Playbook

We watched Silver Linings Playbook last week. I was so enticed by the subject material--bipolar disorder. I debated long and hard about whether to watch it, but I heard from a friend how good it is, and I was sold. I'm so glad I did.

As a movie, it's touching, entertaining, thought-provoking, and just plain enjoyable. Jennifer Lawrence was hilarious and everyone did a fantastic job. I love the humor in it and the plot, though sometimes easy to guess, was mostly fresh.

But how do I feel about it as a movie about bipolar disorder? Here are some thoughts I had:

First of all, Bradley Cooper did an absolutely fantastic job portraying someone who has bipolar disorder. From talking to non-bp people, I can tell it's really hard to wrap their heads around what it's like to live with the illness. They say, "Oh, I have mood swings," or, "I've been depressed." And I'm not negating what other people experience, but it's not the same. Take the emotions "normal" people experience and multiply them times 1000 and you'll get bipolar disorder. And it's not just the emotions, though that's what everyone automatically thinks of (and most only know about it). So, for Bradley Cooper to come in and nail this role on the head ... I'm actually really grateful. He really gives compassion to the character and the illness, and you can tell he did extensive research. He shows that we're "normal" people capable of living good, independent, healthy lives. So, Mr. Cooper, thank you.
I loved that both of the main characters received redemption in the movie. I mean, we all love that, right? But what is so wonderful about this movie is they didn't find redemption from their illness. There is no redemption from mental illness BECAUSE THERE IS NONE NEEDED. Having a mental illness, whether chemical or one-time (like situational depression), is not a weakness. It's a condition, an imbalance in the body, like cancer or diabetes. It simply is, and yeah, it's not the funnest thing to live with, but there is nothing wrong with me as a person because of it. The main characters found redemption from their actions which might've been initiated by their illness but are not their illness. And, Cooper's character learns how to accept his illness fully, which is a journey he'd already started before the movie starts.
At first I was annoyed that both of the main characters were so awkward socially in conversation; i.e., no filter. I was like, "Hey! We're not all like that." But then I realized that when I'm very fixated on something, or very hypomanic, that YES, I do lose my filter. And let's be honest, it's a pretty flimsy filter to begin with. :)
One last thought (though I could discuss this for ages)--there are symptoms of bipolar disorder that the script specifically points out, such as Cooper's character mentioning his delusions regarding his wife and her boyfriend, but there many other things that are handled with a subtle touch. Symptoms that I'm not sure those unacquainted with the illness pick up on. One thing is obsessiveness and fixation (which are different things). So, in the scene where he's looking for his wedding video--yes, it's pretty obvious this is caused by bipolar disorder. (And I actually laughed during that whole scene because it was done so well and I dunno, it was funny to see how crazy we get.) But in one scene he's with his family watching a football game and he keeps harping on something over and over, even changing the topic to get back to it. I just thought, "Holy crud, that's me." And I doubt how many people picked up on that. They deftly handled him going from manic to depressed. People think that we're always either slit-your-wrist depressed or spend-all-your-money manic and that is very much false. When he shifted, it was completely realistic. A small shift at first that grows and grows until you are completely opposite. (Though he never got that depressed, but he did shift out of his hypomania.) And of course, there are the intrusive thoughts and triggers, and all that stuff. In other words--if I had stumbled onto this movie with no knowledge of Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, and Robert de Niro*, I would've thought they actually have their prospective mental illnesses.
And my favorite thing about the movie--it's uplifting. Like A Beautiful Mind, it's a compassionate movie that realistically portrays the struggles of mental illness but with characters who are ultimately able to find a way to successfully cope with their illness. Anyone watching this movie will feel better afterwards. As for myself, I cried simply from what a wonderful thing this movie has done and will continue do for us "crazies." ;)

**They never state that de Niro's character suffers from any specific mental disorder, but it's clear something's going on.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Racing Racing Racing

Kurt's race season is just about the opposite of last year. He has raced five times so far, and has placed first once, fourth twice, seventh once, and crashed out once. He wasn't injured very badly, just a very minor concussion and lots of road rash. He missed a race the next week, but was back in it a week after that. He truly is the Kurtsanimal. He says his road racing season is basically over, other than a couple more events, and he hopes to cat up by the end of the season. In the meantime, he's turning his focus to mountain bike racing. He loves mountain biking and is excited to race since he has no idea what kind of beast it is (similar to road racing? completely different?). Everyone told him he'd have to race less once we have kids, but it's been fun for Lincoln and I to go to his races. As we have more, he might have to scale back but probably not much. He enjoys it so much and it's a great destresser for him. Not to mention how healthy he is. Part of the reason he's doing so well (other than what he learned last season) is his awesome trainer and his focus. His coach has given him very intelligently designed workouts and since he has less time to train, he's training smarter. I'm so proud of him and so so so happy for him.










Six Months Old




Dear Lincoln,

I'm sorry I didn't blog your 6 month pictures and progress sooner. Depression got a hold of me and made me not want to do anything except lay in bed. But there was one thing that helped me get through every day: you. I only got out of bed because I needed to take care of you. Feed you, change your diapers, play with you, wash your clothes. Sure, I did most of this in my bed, but the fact remains that I only accomplished anything because I knew you depend on me utterly and completely.
I can't believe you're 6 months old. It blows my mind. I've loved every minute of the last 6 months--yes even the hard ones. I decided a few weeks ago that I was going to try to sleep train you this coming weekend, but now I'm not sure. I've come to love that early a.m. feeding. After you finish your bottle, I lift you onto my shoulder and you just cuddle as close to me as possible and fall asleep. It's one of my favorite times of the day.
When you turned six months old, you were scooting and sitting up. You had two teeth. You had pulled yourself up onto your knees twice. You were 95th percentile for height, 53rd for weight, and 85th for head circumference. (Ish ... I don't have the paper in front of me.) You are still such a happy, easy going kid. Everyone remarks how easy you are. You love to just hang out and explore, trying to get your hands on whatever's in front of you. The dogs have learned the hard way not to get too close. ;)
You didn't squeal--you screamed. As loud as you could. You loved to blow spit bubbles, and frankly, just spit. You still preferred chewing on fabric to anything else. You were still a cat napper, but you were doing better with your night sleep. You loved to look out the window when we were in the car. You believed that not only should you have both hands on whatever you're holding, but also both feet. 
You'd had two colds, which weren't fun for either of us. You'd bonked your head a few times. And you'd had a week of teething. But even when you didn't feel well, you tried your hardest to be happy. I just love that.
Thanks for being you. You're my favorite. I love you.

May Goals

I'm just going to take another stab at my list from last month, with a few additions.


-Make last two kitchen valances (and make sure we buy blinds for the back door)
-Finish Lincoln's word art
-Reupholster our kitchen chairs (or something ... I'm currently at an impasse)
-Finish deep cleaning the kitchen
-Roll over my 401k
-Journal Lincoln's birth
-Start on Personal Progress
-Finally mail the last of my Thank You cards
-Refinish the dresser I just bought to be our new media stand
-Call my bank about my debit card I'm having trouble activating
-Wash the dogs
-Call Converse about the mix up with my graduation photos (yeah, a year after the fact)
-Baby proof!
-Make trash can cabinet

Oh yeah, I have a blog AKA April Goals Recap

April was kind of a rough month for me. Pretty depressed in the worst way--apathy. I'd way rather be tearful than apathetic. Anyhow, that's the reason for no blog posts. Also the reason for below:

I'm going to try to accomplish as much of the following:
-Make last two kitchen valances (and make sure we buy blinds for the back door) FAIL
-Finish Lincoln's word art FAIL
-Reupholster our kitchen chairs FAIL
-Wash the closet curtains SUCCESS!
-Finish deep cleaning the kitchen FAIL
-Roll over my 401k FAIL
-Journal Lincoln's birth FAIL
-Start on Personal Progress FAIL
-Finally mail the last of my Thank You cards FAIL
-Assess food storage and re-organize kitchen cabinets (so I no longer have dozens of cans on our back counter top) SUCCESS!
-Hang the shelf in Lincoln's room SUCCESS!
-Refinish the dresser I just bought to be our new media stand FAIL
-Call my bank about my debit card I'm having trouble activating FAIL
-Wash the dogs FAIL

Oh hey, I actually did a few things! I seriously didn't think I did. So that's good.