February flew by in a blur of pain, nausea, and fatigue.
First off, I got my wisdom teeth out. It started out well enough, until the third day when I woke up in way more pain than I'd experienced thus far. I went into the Doc's and he gave the ominous verdict:
"You have dry sockets."
NOOOOO!!!
I had seriously been terrified of getting dry sockets. All I'd heard were horror stories! Well, they were true. Dry sockets SUCK. They are incredibly painful. A week after my wisdom teeth were removed, I was ready to write my Doc the following letter:
"Dear Doc,
I would like my wisdom teeth back, please. Life has been nothing but pain since they were removed and I'm pretty sure it has something to do with their absence. So, could you please re-assemble and replace my teeth?
Thanks,
Kristina"
I never did though, probably because of the pain meds they gave me. I have learned something: I don't do well on pain meds. I stumble around a lot and I'm on the verge of being sick at any moment. On the 10th day after my surgery, after losing everything I'd eaten that day in 5 horrific minutes, I threw away my pain meds. "Time to tough it on my own!" I thought bravely. Then I wisened up. "Well, time to tough it out with ibuprofen!"
The apartment got very messy during that whole ordeal and when I finally got through it all, I still didn't have the energy to clean. Why? I couldn't figure it out. But suddenly I started doing math. I was expecting a visitor. Wait, I had been expecting this "visitor" for 9 days! I was exhausted. I was still naueous and no longer on pain meds. Wait a sec...
I rushed to the closest store, made a purchase, and ran home. And then, I confess, I took a pregnancy test.
It was negative.
This was a relief and a heartbreak. A relief because Kurt and I take multiple precautions against it and so obviously it's not in our 9 month plans. A relief because we have another wonderful summer (and winter too, probably) to spend together having fun. A relief because I don't have to quit my job in 9 months. But a heartbreak because I was really baby hungry that day. And I still am. Oh, and like everyone I know is pregnant right now. Currently, Kurt and I aren't planning on taking that dive for another year. That's another year of growing, together and individually, working, focusing on my hobbies, and other stuff that's harder to do with a little one in tow. Sometimes it makes me sad--I'll be 25, possibly 26 before I have a kid at that rate--but when I think of how fast February flew by, I'm not worried.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
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3 comments:
I remember feeling just like that--grateful that I wasn't, but still kind of sad that I wasn't. The only remedy I've found is to actually have a kid. Then you'll be so terrified of having another one too quickly that you'll lose that sad feeling and just enjoy the sheer relief that you won't be having another one anytime soon.
PS--you'll be a fabulous mom, whenever that time comes. And your children are going to be gorgeous.
Wow. That's a terrifying and wonderful feeling - thinking you might be pregnant. It's exceptionally difficult to want a baby but also know that you don't want a baby quite yet. And don't worry about the age thing (I was 25 when I had Chris) - the older I get the more I realize that age matters a whole lot of nothing.
I still feel those same thrills of relief and heartbreak when I take an {unplanned} pregnancy test. I'm always terrified to go through pregnancy again, but I'm always enamored with the idea of a whole new person joining our little family. So far, we haven't had any 'surprises' yet. I can't help but think there's nothing better in the world than feeling as ready as you'll ever get, taking that test, and seeing that positive. When the time is right for you, I'm sure you'll savor it. In the meantime, party hardy, girl!
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