Confessions of the Confused

So, I have a habit of misunderstanding things. Usually, I just don't know what something means and I make up my own meanings. I'm pretty smart, but I do have my blonde moments. In this series, I will dare ridicule to make you laugh at me... which I don't mind doing because I like making people laugh.

I once read a book in which a character killed himself by sticking his head in the oven. This is also how poetess Sylvia Plath committed suicide. Growing up in today's modern society, I naturally assumed this meant that said suicidal person would turn their oven on, lay down next to it, and keep their head on the hot burners until it killed them. "What a miserable way to die!" I thought. "They must be really determined to kill themselves!"
Somehow, this came up in conversation with my mom. I told her that I thought that sounded like the most miserable way to commit suicide. After laughing for 5 minutes, she informed me that these people were putting their heads in old fashioned ovens, which emit a gas that is deadly. This vapor is what kills, not the hot burners.

I'm a classic at misunderstanding song lyrics. In a recent Coldplay song, Chris Martin sings: "Dreaming of the Osaka sun." I always thought (though I did not understand the meaning) that he said, "Dreaming I'll be a circus clown."