Wednesday, February 27, 2013

A Day without Lincoln

Yep, Kurt and I got away on our own for EIGHT WHOLE HOURS. It was weird. But really good. And I missed the kiddo like crazy.
Last week I babysat over night for a friend, in exchange for her babysitting for us in the future. After the snowstorm this weekend, Kurt and I decided to go snowboarding. We dropped Lincoln off at her house at 8, then enjoyed a perfect day on the slopes. Clear skies, temps in the 20s (perfect snowboarding temperature), not crowded, soft, fresh snow (though no powder to be found, poop), BOGO lift tickets ... it was awesome. I even attempted several jumps and landed two! Huzzah! Kurt's front binding broke on his back foot and he was still way more awesome than me. I guess that's what happens when you've been snowboarding for 20 years.
We picked Lincoln up at 4:30, so it was really 8.5 hours. By far the longest I've spent away from him (by a loooong shot). Then I realized that night that it's less than Kurt spends away every week day. Funny, the different perspectives.
Lincoln did great and was happy and smiley when we picked him up, but the next day he wanted to be held almost the whole day. I guess he missed me. :)

Brain Update

I thought I'd jot down what's going on in the bipolar department here at chez Kristina.
Lincoln has been on formula for almost 7 weeks. The difference is like black and white. While I miss breastfeeding and its many benefits, the benefits of bottle feeding far outweigh those of breastfeeding. Lincoln went from 5 hour stretches at night to 6-8 (most of the time). Kurt can feed Lincoln for me, which has allowed me more sleep and some time out of the house for more than an hour.
But the biggest difference has been the fact that I'm back on my meds. And really, I mean med. Due to our family plans, I told my doctor I only want to be on lamotrigine (which is an upper, basically). During the breastfeeding days, anxiety and depression were my greatest problems. Lamotrigine has effectively squashed the depression (most days). To handle anxiety, I use a doTerra essential oil, specifically Balance. It helps with the racing thoughts as well, which is nice. And lastly, for mood stabilization, I take fish oil (three huge pills a day ... not fun). I don't take anything for psychosis, but honestly I don't need to because I'm always aware that my psychosis is just that. No breaks from reality for me (so far in my life).
This sounds like a hodge podge of treatments--and, certainly, it is--but it's working so far. I feel as good as I remember being on my meds.
My insomnia's pretty bad right now, but I use doTerra's Serenity essential oil. Lavender works too, but I find it leaves me with a hangover in the morning and Serenity doesn't. (By the way, I'm a total essential oils convert.)
Add exercise, an adequate amount of sleep (5-6 hours a night), healthy eating, and a regular bedtime/wake up schedule and I feel like a new woman. Those postpartum days, though there were many sweet and happy moments, feel like the distant dark ages. There's no more endless crying and feelings of hopelessness. Oh sure, I still have yet to go a week without tears and frustration, but it's a more healthy amount. I still have days when I'm depressed, or nights when I'm paralyzed by anxiety, or days of out-of-control hypomania, but those are few and far between.
Thank goodness for modern medicine and alternative treatments. :)

Sunday, February 24, 2013

A Visitor

February hasn't been quiet (far from it), but there hasn't been a lot to document via photograph. However, the other day Swift was barking like crazy in the backyard. This is nothing special, as he's a stupid dog, but when I went to tell him to shut up, I saw the reason why he was barking. One of our backyard neighbors had a visitor who decided the roof of their shed was a nice place for an afternoon nap.


Four Months Old




At 4 months, Lincoln:
-Is a very tall boy! 27 inches tall (100th percentile), weighs 16 pounds 4.5 ounces (65th percentile), and head circumference of 17 inches (89th percentile). He had a growth spurt a few days before his appointment that resulted in mostly vertical growth. I anticipate his weight will catch up soon.
-Has graduated to rice cereal and quite likes it.
-Is getting into a fairly predictable daily schedule, with wake-up 6:30-7 and bedtime 7-8 (typically with one wake up between 1:30 and 4), and three naps at predictable times during the day. The naps themselves are a bit unpredictable, as he usually has one 50-120 minute nap during the day, but there's not much of a pattern for when that one will occur. The other two are always 30-45 minutes long. My little cat napper.
-By month 3, he'd discovered his feet (as seen above). Now he's discovered he can put his feet in his mouth!
-Still prefers fabric toys and toys with faces, but has started acknowledging and grabbing other toys we put in his hands
-Can roll front to back (but hasn't done it in a while), but doesn't show a whole lot of interest in either way so far
-Has way more interest in trying to sit up. He's been trying to since he was not-quite 3 months old. I anticipate he'll be an early sitter because he wants it so. dang. bad.
-Can scoot side-to-side
-Recognizes other babies now
-Loves looking in the mirror. He mostly looks at/smiles at me, but he'll look at himself as well (see above)
-Still so giggly and smiley.
-Way hungrier in the afternoons and evenings than the mornings
-Usually gets grumpy when he's tired (unfortunately)
-Almost always puts himself to sleep. Soooo nice.
-Loves playing Patty Cake
-Has an entire head of hair. The new hair is very lite and downy, so it's hard to see unless you're close up. Combine that with his blond eyebrows, I bet he'll be a little towhead like his dad was as a kid (Kurt's hair was blond and straight until he was 21, when it turned brown and wavy)
-Is no longer considered a newborn!! Where is the time going?

There are so many days that the only things I accomplish that don't directly involve Lincoln are showering and eating. Forget cleaning, forget writing, forget a nap. And I'm still so happy. After all, I have the evenings for that stuff. And playing with Lincoln is one of my favorite activities.
If I let myself stop to think about it, I have so much anxiety for his well-being. There is so much potential harm in this world for our sweet little ones and it's all I can do to keep the panicky fear at bay. Thankfully we have the Gospel, which preaches peace, not fear. I am so grateful for this opportunity to be a mother and care for one His children. It's a monumental task we've been given in this life.
Also, I love watching Kurt with Lincoln. People ask how he likes being a dad, and he loves it. He is so sweet with his little boy and is really enjoying every moment. We went to a bicycle convention yesterday and I know it made Kurt excited for Lincoln's first ride in the Burley, on his trainer bike, his first cycling race. I can't wait to watch them because best buds. The seeds have already been planted.
Also, everyone asks who Lincoln looks like. I think he has my eye shape and ears. While I wouldn't say, "He has Kurt's lips/chin/etc," from cheekbones down, I see Kurt. At any rate, he's his own (adorable) little person.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Family Pictures

The day before Lincoln's blessing, we got our family pictures done by my fabulous cousin Michelle. (Denver peeps, she's totally available for sessions.) All the families got pictures--a huge group one of the Coopers, Kurt and me, Ryan and Mandi and Co., Skylar and Caroline, and even Kurt's family got in on it! (Pictures of the Cooper clan forthcoming since we're still waiting on my mom to pick them out.)
The last time Kurt and I took nice pictures was in 2009, so these were a bit overdue. (Those were also done by Michelle!)

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Indulge Me While I Write about Love on Valentine's Day


One of my Visiting Teachers asked me recently what my favorite thing about being a parent is.
I thought for a moment, then answered, "It really is a fullness of joy."
The Gospel teaches us that families are eternal and that having children is a commandment from the Lord. It also promises us that doing so will bring us a fullness of joy.
The happiest day of my life was and always will be the day I was sealed to Kurt for time and all eternity. When I married him, and up until Lincoln was born, I never felt like our love was lacking anything. It didn't feel flat or less in any way. Looking back, I still don't think it was.
And yet, when Lincoln entered our lives (the second happiest day of my life), our love was magnified a hundred times. It truly became full. Complete.
In December, while at Costco, an older man came up to Kurt (who was holding Lincoln while I bought us some hot dogs) to ask about Lincoln. I walked up as Kurt was telling the man about Lincoln--his name, age, etc. He proceeded to tell us what a beautiful family we are, and what a wonderful thing we have. But what he said that stuck out to me the most was how wonderful this little baby is that came about because of our love.
I was thinking about that man the other day and what he said, and it struck me how perfectly the Lord created marriage. The ultimate expression of love between a husband and wife is also what creates children, who bring a fullness of joy to the couple. It is a beautiful, complete circle. The Lord truly loves us and has our happiness in mind--and always has.
The love I have for Lincoln is different in many ways from that which I have for Kurt. In many ways it's instinctive. I am wired to love and care for this child, put his safety and well-being ahead of my own. I didn't have to get to know him before loving him. While I would sacrifice my life for Kurt's as well, that love wasn't so biological. I had to know Kurt before I could love him. (Though I definitely thought he was cute the first time I saw him. ^_^) My love for Lincoln isn't purely biological of course, as I've grown to love him more and more every day.
Love is a powerful force. There are only three people I love more than Lincoln. Kurt is one, and there are only two people I love more than him. My Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. This is such a perfect, divine plan, and the family is at the very core of it. I am eternally grateful for families and that they are eternal.
In closing, a quote I saw on Pinterest (of course ;):
A baby will make love stronger,
days shorter,
nights longer,
bankroll smaller,
home happier,
clothes shabbier,
the past forgotten
and the future worth living for.
-Author Unknown

Saturday, February 2, 2013

February Goals

1. Finish window valances
2. Learn to coupon
3. (Something else I can't currently remember. Drat this mommy brain!) Err ... be awesome!

Maybe I'll stick with three goals every month. After all, it's a good number.

January Goals Recap


1. Hang up shelf and finish word art in Lincoln's room. SUCCESS!
2. Sew Lincoln's baby boots. FAIL! I'm going to do them today.
3. Finish all Lincoln's thank you cards. Cuz, you know, he's only 3 months on Saturday. SUCCESS!

Woohoo! Two out of three ain't bad. My downfall with number was leaving it to this week. I would've been able to do it, but Lincoln had a rough week and wanted to be held pretty much all the time. But I got to read a lot so still a good week. :)

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Three Months Old




At Three Months, Lincoln:
-Weighs 15 pounds 4 ounces
-Is wearing 6 month clothing and has been for weeks now
-Has added L's, M's, and G's to his letter lexicon
-Giggles! And it's my absolute favorite thing in the world
-Loves standing (supported of course), planking in the air in my arms, sitting up, kicking his legs and flapping his arms ... basically anything other than laying down
-Has finally started napping well again
-Sleeps 8 hours a night regularly! Woohoo!
-Wants so badly to sit up, hold his own bottle, and talk. In fact, pictures were kinda difficult this time because he kept trying to sit up straight!
-Looks less and less like a newborn
-Loves his bouncy chair ... like insanely loves it
-Has finally noticed the dogs
-Loves looking at faces and anything with a face (including animals on his feet and stuffed animals)
-Still doesn't love the paci
-But loves sucking on his hands, my hands, my arm, his blankets, his clothes, his toys, ANYTHING but his paci
-Loves walks
-Has discovered the fun of spit bubbles
-Is fully weaned to the bottle and formula. And mom is a much more balanced woman!
-Can sit up fairly well when supported with pillows behind him
-Has the mini push-up almost mastered
-Bats away the bottle when he doesn't want it
-Grabs at our faces and hands
-Is fascinated by his toes
-And technology (especially my phone)
-Is just way more alert and cognizant of his surroundings

This is such a fun age! He's not as cuddly as he used to be, but still quite cuddly. And he's so alert and interactive. I love his giggles and smiles.
Have I mentioned how I much I love being a mom? I was afraid I would resent my lost alone time, or get bored with this little newborn who can't talk or crawl or play with toys much, but it is the funnest thing I've ever done. Motherhood is this crazy blend of nature vs. nurture. There are things that are so biological and instinctive, like my drive to protect him. But so many things that I'm learning and that are helping me grow as a person.
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever.

Cosmo le Cougar

The BYU Alumni Association had a Meet Cosmo event at our church building a few weeks ago. We found out about it right as it started. So we threw on our BYU gear, dressed Lincoln accordingly, and headed over to snap a picture.

Family Insanity!

So, we had guests from December 27th till January 5th. It was crazy, but fun. Ryan and Mandi and Co. were the first to arrive early on the 27th, and Steph flew in that night. Mom flew in the next evening, and Dad, Caroline, Skylar, and Collin trailed in via car. The Wilcox's arrived that night. On the morning of the 29th, Nikkia, Wendy (his girlfriend), and Shelley flew in.
Sunday directly after the blessing, Mom, Dad, Steph, and Collin left for Charleston. Shelley flew out on Monday the 31st. Nikkia and Wendy left on the 1st. Ryan and Mandi and Co. and the Wilcox's departed on the 2nd, and Caroline and Skylar stayed until the morning of the 5th. Some people had hotel rooms and Shelley stayed at the Winfield's for a night, but for two nights in a row we had ten extra people and one extra dog in our house!
We played LOTS of games--Dominion, this name game thingy, improv games, What If, and the Game of Things. We stayed up way too late every night. We had the Cooper family gift and book exchange (gifts for the kiddos, books exchanged white elephant style for the adults). We went to the aquarium and REI. We ate at Pinche Tacos, Watercourse Foods, and Toast. We had homemade pizza, homemade shrimp and grits, WAY too many sweets, and of course the famous Snack City. And we had a really, really awesome time. It was nice to return to our quiet ways after everyone left, but that doesn't mean I didn't immediately miss them like crazy!
(More pics coming soon--Kurt took a bunch with his phone.)






Lincoln's Blessing

On January 30th, we blessed Lincoln. It was a beautiful blessing promising, among other things, that Lincoln will have a strong personal relationship with Heavenly Father and that he'll live a long life. My entire family came out for it, as well as Kurt's mom, brother, and his girlfriend, and our awesome friends the Wilcox's. The Winfield's, Bergam's, and my cousin Michelle and her family all came too! After, we had a casual lunch in the gym (because there was no way all of us were going to fit comfortably in our house), and my parents, Stephanie, and Collin headed home after they ate. It was such a beautiful day. I'm so grateful for this amazing Gospel!
Also, I forgot to take pictures of Lincoln in his adorable blessing outfit, so I did two weeks later. He's laying on a beautiful blanket that my mom crocheted for him, which he was blessed on. He looked pretty similar, except he was already growing too long for the outfit. This kid is a weed! But a cute weed. Yay!
 All the men who were in the circle
 Friends
 Michelle and her cute family (plus Xandrie, the Wilcox's daughter who's in my arms)
Also, Kurt was not stifling Lincoln. Lincoln was hungry, so he was sucking on Kurt's hand.
 Everyone goofy pic

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Meeting Nonny

The day before Alisse flew in, I picked up my Grandma Cooper and aunt Lisa from the airport. I took them up to my cousin Michelle's in Broomfield. It was fun hanging out for the day, and then again on Thursday (I took to the airport too--yep, 4 times to the airport in a week, twice in one day!). I only got one picture, though, of Lincoln meeting my Grandma, his Nonny.

Attack of the ginormous baby!

Al + Kris + Mo = Love

In December, I got to see two of my best friends from BYU, Alisse and Mo (not her real name, just our nickname for her). I haven't seen these girls in YEARS and yet it was like we'd never been apart. Except, OH YEAH, we all kids now. Alisse flew up on Tuesday (from Mesa, AZ) and she and I drove up to Greeley to hang out with Mo (she was in town staying at her parents' house). Alisse stayed there for the night, and I came home. The next day, Mo and Alisse came down to my house to hang. Mo and her kids, Finn and Era, said their goodbyes that afternoon. Alisse and I spent the night eating cookies and watching Sister Wives CUZ THAT'S HOW WE ROLL! It was like college all over again! In the morning, I took her and Lucy back to the airport. Sad day. But it was so fun seeing them and finally meeting their adorable kiddos! I freaking love those girls.
 Don't mind me being all ugly and what not.
Mo with Finn and Era, me with Lincoln, and Alisse with Lucy (and baby boy in utero)

 "High five baby." - Lucy

 Lincoln slept four hours in his swing while Finn and Lucy ran around screaming and playing. It was almost a miracle.
 Yes, I wore sweat pants the whole day. And of course, Mo was lovely and fashionable as always.
 "I'm chubby!"

Monday, January 14, 2013

January Goals

It's halfway through the month, so I'll go easy on myself. :)

1. Hang up shelf and finish word art in Lincoln's room.
2. Sew Lincoln's baby boots.
3. Finish all Lincoln's thank you cards. Cuz, you know, he's only 3 months on Saturday.

I'm starting a new incentive for myself. Every day I write, I'm going to put a dollar in a jar. And every monthly goal I accomplish, I'll put a dollar in that very same jar. And every yearly goal I accomplish, I'll donate $5 to the jar. At the end of the year, I'm going to treat myself.